Transformers: Age of Extinction Zero Stars

    "Transformers: Age of Extinction" is a long-winded nightmare of a film. This commercially successful franchise has drained the joy, and substance, from the art itself, all while being fed by the mindless general audiences, who only care for simplistic, and rather vacuous entertainment. It will not be long before we are inevitably converted back to the age of grunting, and killing small rodents with over-sized clubs.

    Naturally, one would have higher expectations for this picture, considering the casting of Mark Wahlberg and Kelsey Grammer in lead roles; two established actors who share a likable personality, along with a pair of adequate résumés. Unfortunately, this misguided hope becomes nothing more than a delusional ambition, as the infamous name of one man appears out of the depths of feeble minded thought: Michael Bay, the director of the first three films--that could arguably be utilized as -torture devices for anyone who wants to obtain secretive information--has returned in this mockery of a highly distinguished role. His style is one that reeks of ignorance and a lack of aptitude.

    Bay's usage of numerous unfavorable practices, that would need to be forgotten in order to sustain even a hint of dignity, remain in the confines of this tiresome structure that fails in every aspect of film-making. Countless scenes transition from smooth grain film stock to rough grain, in an exhibition that only accentuates the lack of understanding that it takes in order to create a fluid picture. Sweeping panoramas of aesthetically pleasing landscapes are eventually drowned out by slow motion explosions and the action of the Transformers playing catch with computer generated characters flying through the air.

    One aspect that is undeniably the staple of Bay's "Transformers" career, is one of sexual perversion. The leading actress this time around (whose name is quite irrelevant) is yet again reduced to a figure of desirability and plot advancement. Her bra is deliberately shown to excite young boys, who could see a brassiere anytime they wanted in one of thousands of department stores, and many shots blatantly attempt to show off the young actress's attributes. How demeaning it must be to have to instruct the wardrobe designer to unbutton the actress's top to reveal a sufficient amount of cleavage.

    Tawdry humor, although reduced over the course of the franchise, is still present and remains ineffective. If Michael Bay doesn't know what will make a ten-year-old child laugh, then he should just ignore the agonizing compulsion to fulfill that end. The plot has shunned the popular conflict of the Autobots versus the Decepticons and has now been infused with political agendas and the United State's manufacturing of their own robot species. New Autobots are introduced, most notably in the form of a samurai; nevertheless, evoking a feeling of apathy. The "Dinobots" have the most potential but are minimized to a small portion of the film.

    The question that ultimately presents itself at the conclusion of this picture is one of conception. What do we really expect from a franchise that is based on a line of children's action figures? For starters, the story should be simple enough so that it fits in a reasonable time frame. Two hours and forty minutes is far too long for any action-oriented film, especially considering the hollow foundation of the characters. In more of a general sense: Give us some reason to care. I am not even sure if young children actually care about what happens in the film, as long as they get to see their favorite toy on the big screen.

    Besides the obvious suffering of audience's time and money, along with Michael Bay's reputation, there is a slight feeling of compassion felt for these colossal alien robots. For, they have been victimized more so than any other party. It is unlikely that these "Transformers" will see the light at the end of the tunnel; to see an adaption that doesn't focus on simple-minded action and material gratification. If making a bad picture could be considered a sin, then Michael Bay needs to repent. And soon.