Saturday, December 26, 2015

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip ★1/2

Image result for alvin and the chipmunks road chip film stills


    The "Chipmunks" franchise has done very little to dispel any notions that would see it as merely an example of empty-headed children's fare. Beyond serving as a revolving door for bland direction and as a pitfall for many writers of quality, Randi Singer being the most recent victim, I'm afraid the franchise's worth has slipped into a nugatory state. (Of course, they are a set of films headlined by anthropomorphic chipmunks who have an affinity for singing and dancing, and this may have something to do with it.)

    It's quite the uphill battle, I think, when contributing to this children's live-action-computer-generated-cartoon-animal-musical-buddy-comedy-fantasy genre, and considering the film's infantile temperament, I can't seem to find even a smidgen of substance for non-prepubescent moviegoers. Perhaps you might care for a chipmunk-infused rendition of "Uptown Funk." I did not.

    The premise: Dave Seville (Jason Lee), caretaker and father-like figure to our three problematic participants, has gone from struggling songwriter to renown music producer, and this newfound career inescapably leads to romance and to an abundance of nights away from home. (Consequently, this adds to the chipmunks' perpetual uneasiness, which almost always results in mischief.)

    To make matters worse, Samantha (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), Dave's newest sweetheart, has a teenage son in Miles (Josh Green) who finds much joy in torturing his soon-to-be stepbrothersor, at least, that is what Alvin and company fear the most. This assumption of marriage will send these semi-lovable critters on a journey that hardly warrants the qualification of "road trip," and I hate to be curt, but this has to be one of the least eventful plotlines I've ever seen in a children's picture. (They sing, they dance, and, well, that's about it.)


Image result for the road chip film stills

    Generally speaking, "The Road Chip" can be described as a collection of clichés, banal homages, and mawkish moments, and although Alvin and his gang of miscreants appear to be less irksome this time around, the picture routinely relies on the same unflattering tendencies that plagued previous installments. (This is in reference to the excess of physical comedy, cheap humor and abysmal singing exhibitions that grace our prescencemaybe this act was cute in the 1980s as an animated product, but it is just plain inconceivable here.) I would even go as far as to say that it simply encapsulates this year in film, which, regrettably, has been rather mediocre.

    This chapter in the "Chipmunk" universe essentially suffers from the same problem as its predecessors: That is, it lacks a reasonable antagonist. David Cross, who stars in the first few films, was less than tolerable as the autocratic and tyrannical music executive, and our villain in "The Road Chip" is nothing short of doltish. (In brief, Tony Hale plays a klutzy air marshall with a chipmunk-sized vendetta; the movie would have been better served without such unnecessary complications.)

    Believe it or not, this is one of those rare times when parents can actually dictate a film's success. (Truthfully, it's a circumstance where parents should know better.) I'm sure that young children have some desire to witness the latest antics provided by this small group of rodents, but one has to realize the effect of these seemingly frivolous decisions. When it comes right down to it, children rarely have good taste in film; as much as we would like to think otherwise, parental guardians have the most sway in this arena. Here is a thought: It's the holidays. Stay inside where it's warm, save your money and turn on "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer."                      

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