Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ★★

    Dear faithful reader: I regret to inform you of this rather unfortunate fact, but as your reporter, I'm afraid that it is my responsibility to do so. (In truth, it's wholly necessary.) "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" is not only an inferior specimen of filmmaking, but it is sincerely one of the most bloated and shallow superhero films that I can remember—it's large-scale entertainment with little grit and a whole lotta spectacle. "The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world," as our terribly miscast antagonist aptly puts it, can never live up to the hype in which it so effortlessly created, and the entire thing reeks of bad choices and even poorer pre-production decision making. (This would be in reference to a script that is as addlebrained as it is tone deaf and to a miscasting that places an extensive burden on the picture.) But there's a sleek new Batsuit and Batmobile, so I guess we're supposed to jump for joy.

     After a decisive showdown between Superman (Henry Cavill) and General Zod that leaves the city of Metropolis in utter ruination, the "Caped Crusader" (more famously referred to as Batman) begins to see the all-powerful superhero in a new light: That is, he now sees him as a direct threat to humanity. More importantly, however, Capital Hill and the public also join in on the bashing and defamation of the "Man of Tomorrow," and it is this rift that primarily fuels the childish conflict betwixt the two heroes—Batman's utilitarian mindset (you know, the frame of mind that holds the greatest happiness of the greatest number as its guiding principle) leads him to a handful of rash conclusions, and Superman, well, he resorts to finger-pointing and does very little to atone for past mistakes. (Essentially, our "Man of Steel" gets the short end of the stick.)

    Then there is Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor, a character who is known for his cold and calculated comportment and antipathy for "The Last Son of Krypton." Eisenberg's zany take on this persona is beyond preposterous, and it just goes to show how important casting judgments can be. (In a manner of speaking, Eisenberg would have made a terrific Batman villain, presumably a Joker or Riddler type of personality, but his interpretation of Luthor is undeniably suspect, and it's not very convincing.) Additionally, a Lois Lane subplot never really gains traction—mostly because it is moronic and because it adds relatively nothing to the overall narrative—and the film relies much too heavily on philosophical inquiries and thematic checks that it can't cash. In short, it felt as if I was sitting through a Philosophy 101 course without the stimulating subject matter. The picture attempts to examine issues of ethics and morality, yet these esoteric topics are hard to engage once escapism becomes the desired end.

    What's worse is the fact that both heroes deal in what I would regard as foolish absolutes, and this is something that irks me to the core of my being. Batman claims that "If we believe there's even a one percent chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty" when discussing the newly discovered threat posed by the "Metropolis Marvel"; Superman asserts that he will have to convince "The Dark Knight" to assist him or else he must kill him. (I wonder if the filmmakers, and especially David S. Goyer who helped pen the script, realize just how dumb this makes their characters sound.) Tack on an unavailing apocalyptic dream sequence, a Batmobile chase scene that is relentlessly loud and banal, and a climax that places every asset in a position to fail, and the end result is a movie that's simply ill-considered.

    And what about the inessential physical confrontation between our two testosterone-toting superheroes? Not to waste much space here, but if you were expecting anything in the realm of impressive, then I'm afraid that dissatisfaction will prove inevitable. For, the short-lived, CGI-driven fight scene falls short of any real expectations one should have for this climactic battle, and even though the film desperately tries to coax us into believing it is fundamentally necessary, the whole dustup seems to be unmotivated and uninspired. (If I were to be blunt, I'd say that it was blatantly fatuous.) As it so happens, I had to hold in a chuckle or two during the heroes' first encounter, and I can only describe the scene as glaringly farcical.

    Ben Affleck is quite the enigma, isn't he? I mean, here is an actor who broke into Hollywood in a maverick kind of way (he won an Academy Award for co-writing "Good Will Hunting"), and yet most of his career has been bedeviled by bad scripts, bad publicity, and if I am to be brutally honest, bad acting. I've always said that Affleck makes for a great personality actor, maybe even an interpreter, but he has rarely crossed the threshold that would see him as a top-tier talent, and his proficiency behind the camera has far overshadowed his acting ability in recent years.

    Nevertheless, Affleck's rugged portrayal of Batman in "Dawn of Justice" is polished and well done, and I was even more amazed by his personation of the character of Bruce Wayne. (I wish that I could be as complimentary of Cavill as the "Man of Steel," yet it is clear that Cavill adopted the "outside only" approach to acting when preparing for the role, and it is his lack of zeal that underscores what is largely a lifeless exhibition.) Correct me if I am wrong, but the beautiful and very skilled Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman may just be the most agreeable performance of them all.

    The troubling thing about "Batman v Superman" is that it has all the bells and whistles and no substance. Director Zack Snyder ("Watchmen," "Sucker Punch," and "Man of Steel") tries his darndest to inject the picture with some hint of emotion, but his efforts merely come off as contrived and forced, and the entire endeavor can best be described as a kid in a candy store type of offering. (Snyder utilizes both film and digital technology and makes use of color and light-diffusing filters—or some other technique to achieve the sought-after results—but what does this add to the savorless storyline? Not that it's any of my business, but I think Synder should become familiar with the "less is more" aphorism.)

    We tend to criticize these movies for being too predictable and formulaic, and although "Dawn of Justice" attempts to deviate from the conventional superhero path, it's all fairly ineffective. And you know, it is films like these that make one yearn for the days when the affairs of superheroes remained somewhat unnoticed by the political sphere; I think we've all had enough of the silly news flashes that may or may not incorporate television personalities such as Nancy Grace and Anderson Cooper. It might have worked in Nolan's "Dark Knight" trilogy, which Goyer also helped pen, but here it is just plain insufferable. (Of course, this practice is quite standard, yet it is something that has become problematic over the years.) I've mostly found superhero films to be enjoyable, but watch out for when Capitol Hill gets involved.